Have You Cried?

When was the last time you cried? Can you remember? Not the last time you cried about something selfish; not the last time you cried because you didn't get what you wanted, or because things didn't go as you had planned. No, when was the last time you cried because your heart was breaking for something that breaks God's heart? When was the last time you wept over the nations as Jesus wept over the broken city of Jerusalem? When was the last time you sobbed, crying out to the Lord for His justice to reign on the earth? When was the last time you asked in anguish, how long, O Lord, how long until you come to judge the earth in righteousness? Can you remember? Think hard. Can you remember?

I can't.

I cannot remember the last time I cried because my heart was beating with the heart of God and my heart was breaking as His heart was breaking. I can't remember. Maybe it was the summer of 2010 in Africa as I ministered to AIDS orphans. Maybe, but I'm not sure. Maybe it was a few months ago as I remembered an exhaustive list of people groups without the Bible in their language. Maybe, but I'm not sure.

What has happened to our hearts! The greatest commandment is to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Where are our hearts? Are they beating with the heart of God? I have spent many hours training my mind to think in line with the Word of God, and this training ought not to be forsaken, but do you think that perhaps the heart is first on that list for a reason? Our heart is the center of our emotions; if we cannot remember when we last cried over something that Jesus cries over then our hearts are not in tune with the Lord. My heart has become numb, even as my mind has been overwhelmed with the truth of God's Word. I find that I have begun to live and act according to what I know is right, when I ought to be living and acting in such a way that my life shows that my desires are the desires of God. I should not obey because I know I should, but because I want to.

I pray that the Lord would restore our hearts to us; that He would restore my heart. I cannot make myself cry; I cannot cause my heart to break for what breaks His heart. Only He can renew my heart of flesh and bring it into line with His heart. Only He can strengthen my wanter, and cause it to reflect His sovereign desire. My soul cries out, and groans with words that cannot be uttered, that Christ would restore me, refresh me, and renew me.

Lord, bring tears to my eyes; tears which reflect your heart.