Sunday, January 20, 2013

Batter My Heart

I find myself struggling again, between keeping predictable control over certain aspects of my life, and completely abandoning myself to God, between schedules and lists, and wild unpredictable romance. And all the while my argument for taking the former path is that He will love me less if I do not.

I know what I need, but I tremble to pray it, to ask it. So, I found someone who once said it better.

John Donne.

His prayer is truly my prayer. Lord, eradicate my doubt. I believe. Help my unbelief!

  HOLY SONNETS.
XIV.

Batter my heart, three-person'd God ; for you
As yet but knock ; breathe, shine, and seek to mend ;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurp'd town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but O, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth'd unto your enemy ;
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

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