Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Thy Will

As some of you know I have been suffering from chronic joint pain for the last four to five months. In that time I have not been to dance class and the pain has steadily been increasing. After multiple doctor's appointments and tests the cause of the pain is still unknown. I have not mentioned it here previously as I did not want to come across as though I had a negative attitude. In truth, a negative attitude is exactly what I had, though I had done rather well at disguising it.

I did not understand why the Lord would cause such a situation to befall me. I had had it in my mind for months that I wanted to minister through dance (possibly by starting a Christian dance company in Europe). Now it seemed as though my dreams were veiled for a time as I dealt with this injury (at least that's what we think it is). The doctor told me to rest for some time, do therapy, and I should be back in class in four to six weeks. Two months later I was not back in class, but back in the doctor's office.

Then, about ten weeks ago, I began taking a college class on the world mission movement, and my world began to grow. Though I still do not completely understand God's purpose in this situation I do know it has something to do with missions and the method by which I am meant to reach those who have never heard with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am praying about majoring in linguistics in college, so that will be best equipped to reach those with the fewest resources. May the Lord guide my decisions as I walk in faith, and act in obedience to Him.

I know that there are those who are praying for my complete healing, for a physical miracle in my life. I have experienced such before, but I can honestly say that I would rather be aching in body than aching in soul. I would rather be living on obedience to Christ and in physical pain that disobeying Him and living in health and safety. My fervent prayer is that the Lord's will would be done, and that if He can teach me more in this situation than in any other that He would not heal me. Only by His grace can I have the faith to continue in this prayer. Lord, grant it.

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