Betrayal

No one has ever betrayed me... not intentionally, and not knowingly.

No one, but me.

Countless times I have made promises to myself

Set out on a journey, determined to succeed.

Before I know it

I've given up, turned back, or found something new to fear.

When I cry, "Betrayal!"

I am only mourning the weakness of my own flesh.

It has betrayed me again.

It betrayed me the day I was born...

It has betrayed me every day since.

Usually repeated betrayal dismantles a person,

tears at their heart, tortures their soul.

Because of the faithfulness of One,

the constancy of One,

I am still living.

I have not betrayed myself beyond repair.

Lord,

Father,

Protector,

Brother,

Friend.

I will not fear the sunset,

for the crimson rays will not illuminate how I betrayed myself today,

instead they will remind me that the crimson tide of your blood covers all.

I will not fear tomorrow's sunrise,

the songbirds will not mock me with their voices,

or the breakers condemn me with their shouts.

I will be reminded of the Almighty Father who fashioned all with His mighty right hand.

The same hand that holds me,

protecting me from myself.

Grant me grace,

grant me strength.

To make it through this day

sustained by you,

amazed by you,

is all I ask.

I love you, Lord.

It is a tiny fraction of the love I would like to give.

A grain of sand in comparison to the riches of the seashore that I dream of giving you.

But it's Yours.

Use it as You will.

Amen.