Tears

Tears and healing often follow the same painful path.

I don't like crying. It hurts. My sobs always get stuck in my throat and I can't breathe. So I don't. I don't cry.

And I wondered why I didn't heal; why not crying hurt just as much as bawling floods, but in a different way.

Then I saw people who cried, at just the right times, and were considered heroes of the faith. So maybe I did want to cry... maybe I should try it, like some drug that would numb my pain.

But I could never elicit tears myself. Even when those sweet spiritual tears should have been easy to produce, trying always left me hurting.

So, I would never cry.

But then the words of a healed woman revealed my pain for what it was. The Liar's arrows had pierced me deep and I had built a wall to keep them lodged, fatally festering.

And just a hole in the dyke can lead to a flood.
Just a pinprick of truth opened floodgates of grace.

The first grace; the first sign of beginning healing.

Real grace tears. Racking grace sobs.

Tears and healing often follow the same painful path.