Monday, April 2, 2012

No Merimnao?

I gave up worry, merimnao, for lent. It is now less than a week until Resurrection Sunday, and I still feel little victory in this struggle. I know my God is victorious, but for now I am still struggling. In my pride, and in my fleshly desire to please men rather than God, I continue to worry. I worry about my self-image, I worry about upholding my reputation (at least the part of it that has nothing to do with being a devoted Christ-follower), I worry about my grades, I worry about my future, I worry about me.

As the Apostle Paul said in his frustration, who shall deliver me from this body of death!? I feel as though for every step forward I slide three or four or five steps back. My mind and my heart is so filled with me, me, me all the time. My struggles with daydream lust, for fame, popularity, and success also factor into this and stem from this pride and worry. It is the Lord who has exposed my sin, and it is up to Him to cleanse me of it. I have no power! This I have is all frailty and hopelessness if He does not intervene. His victory must be my victory, otherwise I am facing defeat. I may not experience complete victory before Resurrection Sunday; this may be a battle that fills many lenten seasons, but even as I am caught in the crossfire, may this be my battle cry:

Victory in Jesus, my Saviour forever!
He sought me and bought me with His redeeming blood.
He loved me 'ere I knew Him, and all my love is due Him.
He plunged me to victory beneath the cleansing flood!

I have experienced victory, the victory of salvation; His victory. And I have also experienced victory over sin in other areas of my life, so I stand on His promises and thank Him in advance for victory in this area as well.

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