Pride

"Pride is the root of all evil." I know that it is true. In my mind, in my heart of hearts, in the depths of my being, I know it. And yet each and every day that truth manifests itself in my life. It is like a virus, tearing every beautiful thing out of me, removing every evidence of the grace of God from my life, and using them to build the pedestal on which I stand higher and higher. As the early inhabitants of the earth built the Tower of Babel in order to reach God, pride builds up my pedestal higher "toward God." Why do I not realize that with each brick added to my pedestal I fall further and further from His presence, not toward it! If I continue in this way, all I will be at the end of my existence is an empty shell standing on a pedestal higher than all the rest, and yet furthest from God. Would it not be better to be a servant of the Most High, filled with His Spirit, and reflecting the attributes of His character, even if it meant being lower than anyone else?

Again, in my heart of hearts I know that the answer to that question is "yes!" Yet, my flesh still refuses to believe, and the Devil continues to whisper lies to me. As I stand upon my pedestal, I look down, and I see Jesus Christ. He is not above me, for he made himself a servant, and the highest he ever hung, was on a cross. I know I must jump from my pedestal in order to enter fellowship with him again, but I cannot bring myself to do it. My only hope is that the Lord will push me over the edge. The fall may be long, but I pray that when the fall comes it breaks every bone in my prideful, empty, shell of a body. Then may I approach his throne on my knees, humbled, as I ought to be.

Lord, break me. You are my only hope.