I Am Dying

I am dying. You are dying. Our mortal bodies are slowly growing weaker. Death may come tomorrow. Death may come in one year, or ten. What will you do with the time you have left? Are you prepared to meet your Maker? Are you prepared to leave your family on good terms? I cannot say that I am, yet I am still dying.

Beginning today, and continuing every day, I want to determine to do something I would do if I knew it was my last day on earth. I will post at least once a week to share what I have done differently that day, but I plan to record each day's difference in my journal. By doing this I hope to challenge my apathetic mindset, the way in which I commonly interact with my family, and the lack-luster way in which I commune with my Lord. It may seem depressing to remind myself each day that I am dying, but I hope to see it change the way I live each of those days.

Ramblings...

I was thinking of love and joy and peace and pain today. Even when things seem to be going wonderfully, and even the people closest to you assume that you 'have it all together' there is ever an underlying pain. That one black thread that weaves it's way never ending through the tapestry of our lives. It must be sin. We may be justified, but our sanctification is in progress, and that black thread of sin that runs through our lives will never completely dissolve until we are glorified with Him. Some days the longing in my soul for Heaven is almost overpowering. I see how one might commit suicide if they didn't believe that their life had a purpose. I know it is wicked to wish for death, but is it wicked to wish for life with my Saviour? That I might be given the spirit of patience that I lack. That I might patiently await my time, not wasting the life I now live in this mortal body. Oh, wretched girl that I am! I wish to be delivered from this body of death to live forever with my Saviour, but perfect patience is long in coming. Time, it sometimes passes so quickly, but ever so slowly. May I live this life to my full potential, and may I be content with the time and opportunities I have been given on this earth. Therefore when my time does come, it will be all the sweeter.